Your first few visits to the NICU

Having a baby in the NICU is often described as a roller coaster ride. It’s common for both you and baby to experience progress and setbacks as you work toward wellness together. 

Here are a few things you can do during those early days in the NICU:

Ask questions. Ask as many questions as you need about your baby or their care plan, even if you think you’ve already asked the same question more than once. Your baby’s doctors and nurses will be happy to help you understand the care your baby is receiving.

Talk to your baby. It may feel a little awkward at first, but talk, sing, coo and read to your baby, even if they are in an incubator. This goes a long way toward bonding for both you and baby. 

Ask how you can help care for your baby. Depending on your baby’s wellness and health, you may be able to help with temperature checks, diaper changes, sponge baths, or feedings. This will help you bond with your baby and be involved in their day-to-day life.

Take pictures. You will always be glad for any photos of your new baby. Photos are also a great way to remember milestones such as first baths, first outfit and first feedings. Just remember to keep the lens on your baby, rather than the NICU as a whole, to protect other patients’ privacy. 

 

What to expect

While no two NICU experiences are the same, there are a few things that most parents will experience. 

People will be curious about your baby’s health. Well-meaning friends, family and co-workers will frequently ask for updates on your baby’s health. While well-intentioned, it can feel overwhelming to figure out how to respond or how much to share. 

Your comfort and wishes come first. Consider sending out group update emails or designating one person in your family to communicate updates you want to share. It’s also okay to not update everyone else until you feel comfortable sharing information. 

Your baby may have good moments and difficult moments. Babies who are in the NICU, especially premature babies, may experience multiple setbacks and surges of progress — sometimes even in the same day. Take it one day at a time and celebrate every success, no matter how small it may seem.

You may experience complicated and changing emotions. All new parents experience a rush of emotions when their baby is born. Visiting your baby in the NICU adds an extra layer of emotion and stress. 

If you need help processing your feelings or think you may be experience postpartum depression, talk to your doctor or your baby’s NICU team so they can get you the help you need. Remember that whatever you are feeling is expected and normal, including:

  • Fear
  • Happiness
  • Love
  • Pride
  • Anger
  • Guilt
  • Frustration
  • Sad
  • Hope

Schedule an appointment to talk about your emotions and mental health.

 

Taking care of yourself

Your focus may be your new baby, but your wellness and health is just as important. 

Keep a daily routine.This includes eating meals, showering, exercising once cleared by your doctor, getting adequate sleep and drinking plenty of water. You can also build your NICU visits into your daily routine. 

Let friends and family help you. You don’t have to go through this alone. Let people bring meals over, watch your other children, pick up groceries and medication, or mow your lawn. 

Take breaks from the NICU if you want. It’s okay to want a break now and then. If you want to spend time with loved ones, go to a movie, read a book or even just take a nap, give yourself permission to do that. You can always call to check in on your baby in the NICU or visit for just a short time. 

Get the help you need. Your needs are a priority. Common requests for help from NICU parents include:

  • Talking to other NICU parents who understand
  • Talking to a trained mental health professional who can help you navigate this time
  • Hiring a house cleaner or yard maintenance company
  • Finding childcare for your other children while you visit the NICU or go to appointments

 

Bonding with your baby

Welcoming your baby into the world is exciting. Take time to find the joys.

Enjoy the time you can touch your baby. Each NICU baby has their own care plan. Once your baby is ready to be held, savor the time together by snuggling or enjoying skin-to-skin contact. Your baby may be able to breastfeed or take naps in your arms. 

Get out the art supplies. Some parents make colorful signs for their baby’s incubators. Talk to your baby's nurses about what you can do to celebrate your baby's arrival.

Ask your baby’s NICU nurses for mementos to take home. You and your child may want reminders of how far they have come. This could include preemie diaper sizes or clothing, preemie-sized blood pressure cuffs, the first bottle or first pacifier.

Ask what you can bring in for your baby. While some babies aren’t yet ready to wear clothes in the NICU, you can talk to your baby’s NICU team about bringing in hats or soft blankets to lay on.

And again — don’t forget to take pictures. You can create a NICU album, share updates with family and friends, or tuck them away for later.